I recently received a message on social media that stated:

“How do you know it’s your body and not your mind telling you to slow down or stop? My mind tells me to quit a lot.”

I discussed this in my stories but felt that this question deserved a permanent spot on the internet because of how important it truly is. This question is a question I get asked, all of the time. I’m a health coach that focuses on intuitive living, wellness, and self-love. In my blog post A Lifestyle of Self-Love; Intuitive Living and How to Trust Yourself, I discussed what intuitive living is and how to cultivate a mind-body connection. This is the foundation and groundwork for being able to understand what your body actually wants and needs but there is more to this question.

The question isn’t about how to listen to your body, not your mind. The question should be about listening to your mind and body in conjunction with each other. It’s about understanding where you may be letting yourself down or if in fact, pivoting is a way of honoring where you need to be. It’s about pushing yourself outside of your comfort zone but finding the sweet spot where you aren’t overworking about burning out. We are so conditioned by external factors (social media, outside influences, unrealistic expectations, society, etc.) that we often struggle to determine where our innate desires and needs lie. When you begin to deconstruct these things, you can start to build healthier, lifelong habits that are conducive to intuitive living and honoring the mind and body, simultaneously.

We live in a constant state of go, go, go. We are in an overstimulated society that craves “busy” and “hustle”. We rarely slow down to acknowledge where we are, what we need, and how to not only tap into our intuition but actually listen to it too. Yet, the toxic positivity world that we live in, also tells us to slow down and take it all in. How can we do such a thing? How can we slow down and breathe while hurrying through the motions of life? Is there a healthy balance of challenge and contentment? Is there a way to keep doing while also just being? This paradox makes intuitive living quite the challenge but, there are ways that you can tap into your inner self to better understand when you need to do and when you need to just be.

The Difference Between Doing and Being

Though this sounds simple, it isn’t always. Doing is the state of moving through tasks, thoughts, and concepts while considering the past, present, and future. Doing is related to your behavior. Being is the state of experiencing the immediate present without forcing change or altering the state of reality that you are in. Being is related to your values, beliefs, assumptions, worldview, and behavior. It’s easy to do. We are constantly trying to fix and solve problems by doing. We watch “how to” videos while scrolling, we search for easy fixes to the most basic problems, and we are constantly asking others’ opinions on what we should do. Rather than asking ourselves if doing is what we actually need. Sure, sometimes we need to take action. There is a time and place to get work down and to fix issues. But, when it comes to our minds, bodies, and innate desires, we likely just need to be. How exactly do you do this?

Think inward. Ask yourself before Googling or asking others. Let’s take the basic question of “should I work out or not” as an example. If you sit with that question and look inward, your body will give you an answer. Sitting with your emotions and thoughts is giving yourself the chance to be. If you are feeling anxious, have built up energy, or have the desire to get back to your basic roots of movement, then working out will likely be something that feels good. Giving yourself the time to sit with those feelings will make the movement more intentional and enjoyable. You can then better understand why you are feeling the way you do after moving around and releasing built-up tension.

If you are in a place of doing, exercise won’t actually serve your mind or body. There is no distinction between moving to feel good and moving because you “have” to. Your body recognizes that and when you fall complacent to a routine, it’s difficult for your body to recognize what it needs. This doesn’t mean you need to break apart your routine every day but make take a moment every day to ask yourself if movement (or anything else) is genuinely serving you. If you can’t pinpoint exactly how it will make you feel good then it’s not something you need.

Questions to Ask Yourself When Contemplating What You Need

1. How can I be in this moment instead of trying to change it by doing?
   Asking yourself this question gives you permission to acknowledge what state you’re in. We are constantly trying to hurry up and gt on to the next thing. Asking yourself how you can slow down, is a subtle way to acknowledge if you are overworking and not remaining present. We all do it. It’s okay, the important part is acknowledging and shifting to a more present mindset.
   
2. How can I pivot and still honor where I need to be?
   We often get to a place of doing because we are working towards specific goals. This isn’t a bad thing. Having goals is an important part of overall wellness and lifestyle. But, the goal is different than the process. Doing, hustling, and overworking isn’t a conducive lifestyle to accomplishing goals. Often, this will negatively impact progress and build resentment towards your aspirations. This is why so many people fail to actually accomplish their dreams. It’s not because they aren’t capable but because they aren’t willing to pivot. So, when you give yourself permission to focus inward by being, you are giving yourself permission to pivot your process to adapt to your goals and current state. It’s hard but rewarding. I promise.
   
3. Is it a “hell yes?
   If something isn’t a “hell yes”, it should be a “hell no”, within reason, of course. We can’t say “no” to everything in life. I know that there are parts to life that can’t necessarily be changed. We will always need to work, have food, drink water, etc. But, when you learn to actually listen to your mind and body, living intuitively will help you better understand what your body desires. If you have a constant dread to do something, how can you pivot it to become a “hell yes” with excitement?
   
4. Are my thoughts internally or externally focused?
   This one is an incredibly important question. Are you doing because you think there is an external expectation or status that you need to meet? Or, are you doing because it’s something that matters to you and solely you? If you are completely focused inward, you’ll be able to answer questions like “is this hard because it’s outside of my comfort zone, or is it something that isn’t serving me”.
   
5. Am I trying to get to the next thing or am I in this current moment?
   If you are trying to get to the next thing, you aren’t being. There is no way to be in the present while worrying about the future. It’s not possible. So, when feeling overwhelmed or in a hurry ask yourself how you can come back to the here and now. You can do this by reflecting on your senses and what’s overstimulating you and giving yourself permission to step back and look at what’s in front of you.

So, How Do You Know?

So, how can I best answer the question “How do you know it’s your body and not your mind telling you to slow down or stop?” Give yourself the time and space that you need to reflect. Let yourself be so that the doing can flow on its own. It’s not bad to do, but there’s no point in doing if you aren’t intentional about it. If your mind is telling you to stop and take a break, do so while also honoring what your body is telling you. The mind and body know their innate desires. We often allow the outside world to impact what those desires are. When we come back home to ourselves, we are allowing the natural needs to be as they are. Everyone will naturally have different strategies that will help them “know” when they need to keep going and push through or when they need to slow down and take a break. I work with clients of all backgrounds just to teach them how to identify this and help them navigate intuitive living on their own. It will be different for all individuals but if you are giving yourself the needed time and space to reflect and honor, you are much more likely to successfully identify what it is that your mind and body need most.