The holidays are quickly approaching which brings a mixture of emotions for many. I don’t know about you but I love this upcoming season while equally feeling overwhelmed by it. Over the past few years, I’ve been able to navigate high anxiety during the holidays to be able to enjoy it. But, it wasn’t always that way. I remember feeling so taken aback by the stress and panic of the holidays that it prevented me from actually enjoying it. I would spend so much time worrying about how I’m going to buy gifts, which side of the family I would see and when, how I would get to point A to point B on time, and how to make everyone happy. Coming from a split family is tough. I had always thought it would get easier as an adult but in fact, it’s only gotten more challenging. Can anyone relate?

Create the Magic

The first few years of adulthood just felt weird. It was difficult to enjoy and I remember sitting at the kitchen counter in tears trying to figure out all of the emotions and plans. At that moment, I knew something needed to shift. The winter holidays have always been my favorite time of year. It’s the time when everyone comes together. We get to see the lights, the weather changes, and the joy of the season just radiated through my bones. But, as an adult, the magic somehow seemed lost. And, it wasn’t because I was an adult and had responsibilities, it wasn’t about the gifts or the games. It was because I couldn’t figure out the emotions and how to balance everything. It felt different and that little change was enough to dim the light of the season.

You know when you’re a kid, there’s an expectation that you go to parties with your family. Your name is usually slapped on gifts that your parents bought, food is prepared by everyone else and there isn’t much to figure out. Plans are just set and you just have to go with the flow. As an adult, it all shifts and there is a sense of freedom but the magic had to come from within, not from everyone around. It’s up to you to immerse yourself as much or as little as you’d like. You have some more control over the decisions but there is also more pressure to please and perfect.

The Holiday Hurt

The holidays can be a really fun time filled with good food, great people, and exciting events. It can also be a really tough time for people for a plethora of reasons. Maybe you’re in the boat of the holidays being difficult and maybe this season is pure bliss for you. Maybe you’re in the same sea as those who enjoy the holidays but the boat you’re riding in has holes, making it a more rocky ride. Regardless, it’s important to be aware of the fact that not everyone feels the same joy, all of the time. Statistics show that more than half of those with mental illness feel that the holidays can be triggering and negatively impact their overall well-being.

The holidays naturally heighten emotions. They can easily demonstrate the beauty and joy in life for those close to their families with community and love all around. They can also bring out the pain and grief individuals feel. Some may be estranged from their families, impacted by Seasonal Affective Disorder, or experiencing the season after losing a loved one. There may be financial impacts that the holidays bring on, stress from difficult family dynamics, or overwhelm from the lack of routine. There really are so many results from the holidays that may not bring joy to all. And, that’s okay. That’s a part of life and healing. You don’t owe holiday magic to anyone.

How to Embrace Your Magic

There is no joy without suffering. There is no joy with expectation. There is no joy without struggle. Just because the holidays can hurt, doesn’t mean they have to be debilitating. Finding ways to embrace your own magic can bring you back to reality to feel the joy you deserve to feel. It’s not about negating the hard emotions you feel, it’s about embracing them and finding ways to healthily navigate them. As the holidays are approaching, it’s important that you equip yourself with tools and strategies to reduce the onset of negative impacts from mental illness. Here are a few self-care tips for the holidays:

1. Mindful Movement, Always
   You do not need to “fix” or “change” your body for the holidays. Don’t overexercise just because you think you need to alter your looks for the next big family gathering or work party. Moving mindfully with help increase endorphins (positive hormones in your body) to help reduce the impacts of mental illness. Keep your routine of movement but don’t force yourself to overexercise. You also shouldn’t punish yourself for the holiday food you consume. Enjoy those moments and memories without shame or judgment over your body.
2. Journaling, Reflection, and Gratitude
   Feel the hard emotions, they allow you to feel the joy. Journaling and reflecting will allow you to better understand what you’re feeling and why. During the holidays, heightened emotions may seem like it’s just from overwhelm but they are often triggered by specific situations. Give yourself the time you deserve to understand the origin of what you feel and practice gratitude for the good going on. It will bring out more joy and happiness, even during the hard. Click here for guided journaling and gratitude.
3. Keep a Routine
   Don’t let the holidays get in the way of your routine. Routine creates stability and the holidays can easily get in the way of that. Keeping a routine will allow your mental health to feel at ease with lower stimulation. Of course, some days won’t allow for your standard routine but try and maintain it as much as possible so you don’t feel stuck in a rut for a long period of time.
4. Eat Balanced Meals that Nourish Your Body
   The holidays usually bring about good food and things you normally wouldn’t eat. Eat it, enjoy it. Don’t punish yourself or restrict yourself from the food you desire while also ensuring you are eating balanced meals that are fulfilling and nourishing. Food can provide the necessary vitamins and minerals to maintain optimal health and well-being.
5. Get Outside
   Sunshine reduces negative impacts of mental health, even if it’s cold. Get outside for a walk or just to sit. Take some time to get fresh air and vitamin D.
6. Hydrate
   It can be more difficult to remember to drink water when it’s cold out. Be sure to drink enough water and stay hydrated. This will maintain proper digestion, energy, and health.
7. Set Time Aside for You
   Holidays usually mean spending time with others. Friends and family come into town, parties are happening, and it’s easy to forget about yourself. Set time aside for you to maintain your sanity. I usually recommend scheduling this time and actually putting it into your calendar to ensure that it actually happens.
8. Say “No”
   Saying “no” can be so hard but it’s not your job to please everyone. It’s your job to make everyone happy and to attend all of the events and gatherings. Say “no” when you need a break and give yourself time to breathe.
9. Rest
   Rest is productive, always. It can be fun and exhilarating during the holidays but it’s also essential to get rest for yourself. This will reduce the chances of crashing once the holidays are over.
10. Release Expectations
    Let go of all expectations. This will allow you to feel the joy in the good and not be so hard on yourself when feeling down. Expectations kill joy and holding them during the holiday season will make it difficult to just be in the moment. Let go of the expectations that you hold over yourself and others to be more in the moment and to reduce disappointment.