How do you know when it’s working
When the feeling of contentment consumes you
When everything around you is enough

When the earth is shaking
Yet you are still

And the wind is blowing
But you are grounded

How do you know

It’s when your life feels disrupted
Yet you are inherently safe
Because you are the creator of calm in your life
And you are the way to contentment

Those emotions are filled with power
Those thoughts are filled with purpose
And without your permission
They are worthless

You are the holder
Of the meaning in your life

And at the end of the day
When the world falls asleep
You must be at ease
With the being that you are

Knowing that your thoughts are fleeting
And your emotions may linger
But neither are a forever representation of you

Notice each passing notion
And each flowing sensation

Knowing that you are the holder and the healer
As you have squirmed and squealed
And throbbed and ached
For far too long

But peace is near
And calm is here

Right inside
Is where tranquility exists

And contentment does not mean
Letting go
Of goals and desires

No,
Rather it’s about stepping into gratitude
For the process and the progress

And enjoying the journey
Of the highs and lows

And not being so attached to the wins
Or defeated by the losses

Because both are inevitable
And both are unchangeable

So commit to calm
And commit to contentment
Because you are the holder and the healer
The creator and the composer

So be gentle to your body
Be kind to your mind
Be loving to your heart
And above all else

Lean in your being
Fulfilled with each evanescent moment
Just as you are

Because you will know
When the moon begins to rise
And the world begins to settle
And everything around you is
Quiet and still

You will know
When the calm is working
And the contentment is here

It’s in your body
In your mind
In your heart
And in your soul

The calm is working
And the Contentment is here

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Oh, the joy of feeling calm. It truly hits like no other. I don’t know about you but calm is one of the most challenging sensations to accomplish in my mind and body. Anyone else? I can very clearly pinpoint why (social media, overstimulation, hustle, and grind, etc.) but even knowing and understanding the sources, doesn’t make it easy to overcome. My natural state tends to be reactive. I live on the defense out of fear of my past. This is so common for so many people because our past experiences dictate how to perceive our current experiences. For example, I’ve grown up with alcoholism being far too present. This has made me inherently feel unsafe by drinking. I always felt that I had to fend for myself when those around me were intoxicated. I felt that my feelings couldn’t be comprehended and my needs couldn’t have been met. As an adult, my natural tendency is to lock up and be on guard when others are drinking around me. As if they can no longer be present and engage in my needs. I now know this isn’t always the case. I’ve had to rewire my mind to be in a calm state socially, recognizing that not everyone is drinking to get completely intoxicated, and being around alcohol doesn’t automatically make me unsafe.

Feeling calm is the sense of not feeling reactive, feeling a sense of control over how you react to the emotions that approach. Often, people assume that calm is not feeling hard emotions and that’s actually not the truth. Calm is feeling the emotions but not feeling reactive to them. It’s this idea of action vs reaction. You may not be able to control everything in your life but you can control how you approach everything that occurs. This is true for me in my experience with alcohol. My thoughts aren’t invalid. I was conditioned for so long to not feel safe. It’s okay to feel this while simultaneously not being reactive and shutting down when others are drinking around me.

Calm comes from contentment. When you aren’t content with your life and what’s occurring around you, it’s difficult to lean into calm emotions. Contentment is about just being. It’s about coming out of the state of craving. This is difficult when so much of our lives are seen online and we want to show up and show out. Recognizing that you have everything that you need in life is important to lean into contentment. This isn’t about not having goals and working towards something, it’s about knowing that you can work towards something for your future self while also being content with what’s in the here and now.

The Benefits of Committing to Calm

There are obvious benefits to being calm. It’s a positive emotion to feel and experience but it also helps our long-term health and well-being.

• It helps soothe hard emotions that occur. Practicing calmness when it’s easy will help train your mind to feel calm when hard emotions come over you. It builds as a habit within and can become your most innate state.
• Heightened anxiety and stress can impact your physical being. Calm practices can help reduce chronic pain, inflammation, and pain in the body.
• Committing to calm will allow you to make rational decisions that will help progress your goals. It promotes logical thinking and clear-mindedness.
• The idea of “rest and digest” is when your body feels relaxed. Stress reduces the quality of sleep you get and your ability to digest food and thoughts. Feeling calm allows your body to exit fight or flight and step into a place where optimal health is accomplished. Your body can then run on autopilot in a natural and healthy way.

Cultivating Contentment

So, how can we focus our energy on being calm and feeling contentment? Here are a few tools that have helped me in my journey:

• Creative Practices: when you allow yourself to truly explore your mind and tap into creativity, your stress levels decrease and you feel at peace. I spent so long avoiding fun hobbies and activities that didn’t serve a specific purpose such as making money. Over the past two years, I have been exploring my more creative side and it has enhanced my overall joy and contentment. For me, that looks like taking care of plants, writing poems, creating unique yoga flows, etc. Find a creative outlet that’s invigorating to you and make an effort to partake in it throughout the week.
• Notice Past Emotions Arising: you may be taken out of the present by thinking about the future but often stress and hard emotions stem from past situations and traumas. When you find yourself stepping into “fight or flight” mode, take a moment to reflect and think about what arouses these expressions. Are you being triggered by something from your past? Are putting up a line of defense out of protection? Are those reactions necessary at this exact moment? And, how can you lean into calm through them? I recently experienced this. I got into an argument with someone I love and my initial reaction was to fight back, raise my voice, and slam doors. I had to really think about these triggers. Through this, I realized that if I had expressed those reactions, my nervous system would have been overstimulated far past the argument and it would have taken quite a while to bring it back to a calm state. Instead of reacting, I placed a boundary of “if you continue to talk to me this way, I am going to have to exit the room and conversation”. This was beyond difficult to do however, it resulted in creating a safe place for my mind to feel calm and body to feel content.
• Take Action on Your Goals: I know, this may seem counterproductive, right? Goals are usually future-based and can take you out of the present but if you are taking action on your goals, then that is making it part of your current reality. When you put effort into intentions that are fulfilling to you, it’s easier to rest knowing that you are working towards a greater purpose. There needs to be a balance with this though. I tend to want to turn to hustle and grind with my goals. I’m an entrepreneur that constantly wants to create and build new ideas for my audience and clients. This can be very overstimulating as well. Creating action plans and writing out reasonable steps to plan and implement have helped me stay on track without getting overwhelmed and crashing.