Growing up my mom would always tell me, “you are the average of the five people you spend the most time about”. Jim Rohn is the original person of this quote, but everything has a greater magnitude when it comes to mom. I hated this because I always thought that I had full control of who I am and what I become. No friends would ever determine the person I was or would be. It sounds that easy but as you spend more and more time with others, you begin to shift and adapt to who they are and what they think. I’m pretty sure the average comes from a higher percentage than just the top five people, but you get the point. You are a product of your environment. This is the Law of Averages in full effect.

What Is It?

As defined by Merriam-Webster, the Law of Averages is “an observation that probability influences everyday life so that over the long-term the possible outcomes of a repeated event occur with specific frequencies.” This means that life will find itself at equilibrium and work itself out. It takes one person to influence your life. One person that can boost or weaken your average.

How Does It Affect You?

I’m sure you’re thinking, “well yeah but I am still me even though I hang out with other people” and you’re correct. However, who you spend time with will determine the conversations that take place in your life and the energy that dominates your attention. Maybe you won’t actually become who your friends are, but your energy and mindset will become the average of what you feel. Social norms and peer pressure take over when in groups of friends. You are naturally more likely to act and react similarly to your friends. If all of your friends make healthy life choices (eating well, saving, working, etc.), naturally, you are likely to follow these patterns. This goes the same with poor life choices.

Even the people you are around the most make choices that you don’t actually involve yourself in, you become guilty by association. The law of averages picks up on all things. Having more negative influences than positive ones will bring your average down, even if you yourself are a positive influence. It’s based on how people see you, treat you, etc.

What You Can Do

Take action on how you build your social structure. Success is more than what you know; it’s also about who you know and where your support comes from. You can’t expect to feel uplifted with negative people dwelling on all that happens in life. Actively choose people that boost your average and push you to be the best that you can be. It’s easy to fall off the success train when there aren’t people by your side holding you accountable.

Don’t let people just come and go in your life. Quality is definitely better than quantity when it comes to friends. You can have 100 people that you know that constantly put you down and make bad decisions but in five years, you probably will be right there with them. Time will continue to push forward regardless of the place you’re in. Where do you want to be in five years? Are you going to let the people around you decide that? Don’t let chance place people in your lives. Choose wisely on who you let in because those are the people that throw opinions your way, send out energy and attitudes, and be by your side (or not) when you need them the most.

The people you spend the most time cast a cloud over you and the cool thing is, you get to decide what that cloud looks like. Make your five (or more) people ones that you are proud of; ones that you would trust with your (or your kids, or pets, or most prized possession) life with. Use the law of averages to your advantage and keep your social life strong!