I want to start by saying: wellness isn’t linear. Healing isn’t linear. And happiness isn’t a destination, rather a journey. With that being said, I want to open up more about my path to wellness. The highs, the lows, the good, the bad, and everything in between. I’m young, 21 to be exact. I still have a lot to learn and a lot of growing to do but I’m here, openly and authentically. But, it wasn’t always that way. I’ve spent so much of my time hiding, wanting to be seen by all the wrong people, and simply not owning my truth. It took time, it took courage, and it took a hell lot of a lot of vulnerability. I share my story so others know that they can do it too. They can rise above against all odds and be a total badass. My path to wellness is going to look different than yours and that’s okay but I am here to say, wellness and confidence are something that everyone is worthy of and can accomplish. You just have to be willing to put in the work.

Growing Up

I’ve have seen “healthy” living my whole life. My mom has been in the fitness industry for over 23 years. I grew up understanding the importance of eating well and exercising. It was almost expected and ingrained in me. I started going to the gym when I was just twelve years old and I was set up to be physically strong and empowered. There was a lot of pressure to be the most athletic, the fittest, and the most fun. I wasn’t the most coordinated (ironic that I’m now a yoga instructor), I hated sports and working out, and I definitely was not fun while being filled with so many insecurities and sensitivities. Most of this pressure was self-instilled but that’s easy to do when you constantly hear the negativity around body shape and size.

I was never “skinny” but I was never “fat” either. Curves, rolls, stretch marks, I have it all. I’m proud of this now but I didn’t think these were qualities to be proud of growing up. My mom always told me I was beautiful, strong, and had a nice body. But, I had a body just like hers. It’s actually kind of scary how close our bodies resemble each other. My whole life, I watched her yo-yo diet, talk about how much weight she needs to lose, and fixate of exercise just to lose weight. It wasn’t hard to point out my flaws when I watched the most significant women in my life do the same to her body.

At such a young age, I started hating what my body looked like. I picked it apart and torn it to shreds. In high school, I developed eating disorders and did everything that I could to shed any little bit of weight. The anxiety started to form and I felt my life falling to pieces. I think a lot of my high school experiences are fairly normal. It’s a confusing time for most, but it still greatly impacts the way I see myself and it plays a strong role in my journey. I spent years fighting my eating and confidence. I had a great role model when it came to being healthy from a physical standpoint. But, I knew there was more to it all. I knew that physical health wasn’t everything. Once I got to college, I was ready to shift. I was drained from hating myself and was ready to do the work.

Yoga

When I first started college, I hated it. I love learning and enjoyed being in college but the actual college life was not my jam. I’m not a partier and I don’t enjoy going out to clubs or drinking. I’m also not the best at friendships because I get so wrapped up in my own world of studying and working. It was tough living on campus and not having my tribe. I regularly went to the gym but at that point, I was exercising with the hopes of loving my body. It wasn’t working for me. I knew I wasn’t in high school anymore and I knew that the way I was treating my body was not healthy and not okay. The routine needed to break and a shift needed to occur.

I went to a yoga class on campus and my life changed.

It was a movement that felt good to me. A movement that allowed me to breathe and freely move without judgment, without shame, and with a new sense of self-worth. I remember the exact moment that everything changed. For the first time in so long, I felt alive in my own body and knew that this is what I was called to. I stopped working out for an extended period of time because I knew I was doing it for all the wrong reasons.

I found a job at a local yoga studio doing basic front desk work and everything seemed to fall into place. Through practicing just about every day, I really learned what true love meant for my body. There was a feeling of fire, passion, and purpose and I knew that there was more to this life than what I was doing. The studio later offered me a position to get certified as an instructor. I took this opportunity and it was was the best decision I have ever made for myself. I feel like it launched me into a place of genuine love and compassion for the person I was, the person I would be, and the person I used to be.

Switching Majors

I originally went to school for physical therapy. My lifelong dream was to be a physical therapist and work with children. I got the college and I was drowning in courses that I hated every bit of. I knew I wanted to make an impact, but how? College is a weird time and it’s only normal to switch it up and not know the right path to take. I quickly switched majors to Health Education and began learning and understanding where the disconnect really was in my life. I knew about physical wellness, I basically grew up in the gym. What I didn’t know was every other part of wellness and how much I was lacking.

I started understanding more about myself, wellness, and the real meaning of health beyond surface-level nutrition and exercise and I fell in love. I knew that the trajectory of my life was completely off course for my “plan” and I just had to release, let go, and keep moving forward. And so I did. I drove headfirst into this world of self-love, self-care, gratitude, and my entire life completely shifted. That meal little girl was no longer afraid of her body or mind. I found fitness as a passion rather than a chore and really began opening my mind to so much more. I found myself between yoga and education and I knew that my path to wellness was only just beginning.

Learning, Growing, and Cultivating Good Energy

I started blogging with no idea what I was doing but knew that if my words were written and even just one person was impacted by them, I would be doing something good. I learned more about essential oils, holistic healing, personal growth, and just wrote what I knew. My confidence was blooming and that needed to be shared. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought that I could genuinely love every piece on me; body, mind, and spirit. There is so much to learn in the world of healing and confidence but I knew I was where I needed to be and on the right track.

Personal growth is a lot of mindset and manifestation. The law of attraction is strong and my path to wellness greatly relied on the mentality that it will always work out. Because it always does. I’m a naturally stressed out person who thrives in intense situations where the pressure is on. This is wonderful when it comes to meeting deadlines but not so great when it comes to healing. Cultivating good, high vibration energy was a crucial step in my path to wellness because it helped me shift my mindset. I started seeing the good in the world, the potential I had to offer, and how great this life truly is. Of course, I still have my stressed out day, I’m only human, but I’ve learned how to manage better to control my actions and reactions. What you put out to the universe, the universe will give back.

Putting in the Work

Again, wellness isn’t linear and healing isn’t linear. It takes so much time but you have to be willing to put in the work. Personal growth doesn’t just appear. Unfortunately, you don’t just wake up ready to be healed from your wounds and poof, they are gone. It takes work and commitment. There are steps to take, behavior changes that must occur, and patience that must be present. My path to wellness is just that, it’s a path. It’s a long and windy path that is a journey to go through. There are steep hills to climb and fun planes to roam but I had to be willing to go through it all, good and bad, to get to the other side.

My path to wellness didn’t just happen overnight, though that would have been pretty cool. It’s a process that’s still occurring every single day. There will always be room for improvement and growth. Just as times are always changing, so are you and so am I. We have to continue to put in the work to grow and fully be in touch with who we are. Being whole is not about being the best, it’s about feeling your best and being able to fully come into your purpose to feel fulfilled.