Yeah, yeah, new year, new you. Blah, blah, blah. We’re at that time of year when we start thinking about what’s to come. What will the new year bring? What are my goals and resolutions? What can I cut out of my life to feel better and how the heck will I accomplish it? Unpopular opinion: I hate New Year’s resolutions. I actually found an old Google Drive that had a list from pre-personal growth Madi. It contained my resolutions from years prior and I literally laughed. Who the heck is that girl?! It was just a list. No reasoning, no action plan, just things I wanted to do or be able to do. Like, doing a handstand, losing X amount of pounds, and going to the gym 5 times a week. Absolutely ridiculous. I don’t really need to break these down any further but seriously?? No context to the handstand, I don’t think I was even practicing yoga then. The number of pounds I wanted to lose was so unhealthy and unrealistic. If I would have accomplished that, I would have had to starve myself, no lie. And five times a week at the gym? That doesn’t sound like honoring my body and needs. Interesting.

My Thoughts on Resolutions

Here’s the thing:

Society tells us to enjoy the holidays. We are targeted and conditioned to buy, consume, and digest allllll of the things during the holiday season. Until January 1st hits. The health industry tells us to enjoy the food and be present while simultaneously targeting weight loss and diets come the New Year. We buy all of the new items just to be targeted into organizing and keeping clean more. We talk about goals to excel in skill and then are shamed about not knowing how to do something else. It’s a constant, endless cycle of shame, guilt, and insecurities. We can’t just be. Right now is the time of year when we are shamed for our choices from just one week prior. It’s absolutely absurd.

I am a huge advocate for being in the present. Literally just being, not always doing. It’s hard, even for me. I have a hyperactive mind and body that constantly wants to go, do, and hustle. And that isn’t always healthy. Resolutions take us out of the present and prevent us from being in the here and now. They are future based, which can be healthy to guide you in life but not when it’s used as a crutch. Resolutions are being used as an excuse to not honor the mind and body. Before the new year, most people make decisions that don’t serve them because they’re “starting their resolutions next week” or they don’t honor what they need in the moment because they are so gung ho about a goal that may not even be relevant in their lives. Either way, it often times goes against what actually serves the mind and body.

I don’t really buy into the whole concept of “new year, new you” because quite frankly, why are we trying to change ourselves into something different? Sure, we may be trying to enhance and optimize ourselves to become the most empowered version of who we are but new me? I don’t want to change who I am. I don’t want to let go of all of the hard in my life that has brought me into the person I am today. We are so conditioned to believe that a new year is the start of a new life but what if, in fact, it’s the continuation of the story we’re all living? Why must we change the greatness in our lives? Why do we need to turn the page? It doesn’t have to be a new chapter rather it can be the continuation of where we are in the here and now.

Why Resolutions Don’t Work

Very rarely do resolutions work. I’m not saying they never stick but it’s not common for someone to accomplish one resolution let alone multiple. And, it’s not because they are failures. There’s actually science behind it. When you make resolutions, generally (again, not always), they are made as an overarching statement. For example “workout healthier” is a generalized statement without any context or reasoning. What part of you wants to get healthier? Physical health? Emotional health? What actions will you take to accomplish that? What’s the timeline of it and how are you measuring your results?

Resolutions don’t work because they are usually simplistic ideas that take complex action. When you have been so conditioned to act and be a certain way, that isn’t just going to change because you made a New Year’s resolution and you say it’ll be different. Taking action in your life begins with mindset and accountability. It’s very difficult to change on your own simply because the mind will want to convince you to revert to old habits. Building new habits takes time and there are important steps to take to accomplish that in your life. When I work with my 1:1 clients, we take a very specific approach to initiate behavior change. Using the Health Belief Model and SMART Goals, we cultivate very in-depth plans to accomplish important goals. These goals aren’t just random ideas pulled out of the sky. Each one is curated with reason and meaning to enhance their overall well-being. Your resolutions aren’t going to work without a plan, a reason, and an understanding of how to initiate habit change in your life (that’s a post for another time but I work very in-depth with clients on this specifically so contact me if you have habit-change questions)! Hence why every new year, you end up with the same goals that don’t get accomplished. It’s not because you aren’t capable. It’s because you aren’t using strategy.

What You Can Do Instead

Now, I’m sure you’re thinking “but Madi, what about goal-setting and growth” and I want to touch on that. Goals are good. I’m not saying that every idea you have for the new year is a bad one or something you can’t accomplish. It’s just important to understand the best ways to go about it to make it a reality. Many ads you’re seeing right now are the diet and fitness industry shaming you into feeling like you need a diet or the latest new equipment. You don’t. You need love, compassion, and motivation to put work into becoming your best self. And, news flash, that doesn’t start with anything that’s external. These 30+ BILLION dollar industries thrive off resolutions that buy into all the fads and latest trends that help you “reach” resolutions that aren’t actually going to make you feel better (often, not always).

So, what can you do instead? Here are a few ideas:

• Create visions, not resolutions that are focused on restriction
  I love creating visions and have all my clients do it! It’s important to visualize what you desire in this life to bring it to fruition. Vision boards are a great way to do this but I usually just write it out in increments. My favorite thing is to visualize what I desire in the next year, 2 years, 5 years, and 10 years. When you create visions, you focus more on the idea of what you desire. I tend to focus more on core desires and what I envision my life as rather than surface-level goals that I think will bring me happiness. Resolutions tend to focus on restriction and taking something out of your life whereas visions focus on how we can manifest ourselves into the greatest version of who we want to be.
• Adjust and pivot with strategy
  Visions are really cool because they can (and should) constantly change and evolve. Visions naturally shift based on what’s important in your life at the time while motivating and pushing you forward. Resolutions (if someone doesn’t fall off them within the first few months) can make you hold true to something that’s no longer serving you. Allowing yourself to adjust, pivot, and adjust as needed is beyond important to honor your mind and body. There is no reason to stick to a goal that’s no longer conducive to growth.
• Focus inward
  No one can tell you how to live and what you need most in this life. Focus inward instead of creating resolutions just to say you have them. It just doesn’t matter what anyone thinks. Focus on you and what you need.
• Find an accountability partner
  Hey girlfriend! Need an accountability partner? I’m your gal! But no really, finding people that will hold you accountable while holding space for growth and encouragement is so important. You need to have people in your life that will allow you to be open and yourself without setting unrealistic goals with no guidance. Find your community and lean into them. You don’t need to try and conquer the world alone.
• Find what lights your soul on fire and follow that
  Remember, resolutions are supposed to be something that makes you feel good. So, what’s the point if you’re aimlessly following goals that don’t serve you? If you find something that feels good, do that! Follow what your heart truly desires to continue manifesting more good in your life!

There are so many expectations around the new year but you get to decide what that means for you. You get to step into your power and purpose and define what your new year will bring. What will it mean? How will it look? Instead of focusing on surface-level goals, how about you try focusing on being and feeling like your best self? Instead of reaching for goals that aren’t going to enhance your life, what if you focus on practicing grace, gratitude, and compassion? What if the transformation is within? It may be a new year but it sure as hell doesn’t have to be a new you.