Balance, wellness, self-love, positivity. All keywords that are saturating social media but what does it even mean? I see people posting about living a “balanced” lifestyle but no one knows what they are doing when the camera is off of them. I’m not here to say that every wellness influencer isn’t practicing what they preach. I’m just saying, why are we so focused on what everyone else is doing? This doesn’t bring us any closer to a balanced lifestyle for ourselves, rather it pulls us further apart from our greater purpose and being. I think we all fall victim to seeing something online and believing that others are doing it “right” yet it’s very hard to determine what’s actually right for you, your mind, your body, and your soul. So, let’s chat about what it means to live a balanced lifestyle and how to attain wellness, self-love, and optimal positivity that actually serves you.

What Does Balance Actually Mean?

Living a balanced life means that you take the proper steps to account for all areas of your life, and you make each part of it a priority. This means making time for the things you have to do (work, bills, house maintenance), the things you want to do (go out, socialize, hobbies), and the things you should do (movement, self-care, reflection). Having a balanced life improves your overall health by giving you the proper amount of time to focus on the ebbs and flows in your body and life. When balance is at the forefront of your life, you are less likely to burn out resulting in an improved relationship with yourself. You go from a place of force to a place of intuition, allowing a greater sense of well-being and long-term health. It’s so easy to get consumed by work or fitness or serving other people but you are less likely to enjoy the small things in life this way. When you are all too consumed by a single thing, you can’t look inward and analyze what your mind, body, and soul need. You get so hyper-focused that there is no room for you and your intuition.

Living a balanced lifestyle is not about shame or justification. It’s not needing the validation to eat something you crave just because you worked out. It’s not telling yourself that you need to work out because you ate something that may not be the most healthy. Living a balanced life comes from within. it’s honoring yourself when there is stress by doing something for yourself to resolve that build-up. It’s about being where you need to be in each moment rather than forcing something that your mind and body don’t need. One of the most common themes I see about “balance” online is someone posting about eating an unhealthy meal and then going to work out to balance it out. But, this is only reinforcing the belief that you must earn your food and that you are not already deserving of a good meal. Your subconscious mind internalizes all of these little notes you put into the universe.

Living In Equanimity

Balance is not about justifying your choices rather it’s a way to accept what you need, crave, and deserve. It’s about honoring that place within you and giving yourself the acceptance to follow what you desire. When you are forcing things that create an imbalance in your life (such as forcing yourself to work out when you need a break, working long hours to finish that project, or not partaking in activities that fill your soul), you are disrupting the natural flow of your life. Finding peace and calm means you must step back and analyze your life as a whole. Where are you manifesting the most stress and why? How are taking away from your higher self by showing up for people and things that aren’t serving you? Living in equanimity means showing up for yourself before showing up for the other parts of your life.

There are 8 Dimensions, or areas, of Wellness in your life. Though each dimension of wellness has its own qualities and impacts on life, they all tie in together in some way. If you lack in one area, there will be dilemmas in others. It’s important to understand how each dimension works together to better overall wellness in everyday life. For example, Physical Wellness impacts Intellectual Wellness by allowing your mind and body to be energized and retain information. Living in balance means that each area of wellness takes priority before anyone or anything else. It means that you’ve cultivated a strong relationship with yourself in each area and have nurtured a lifestyle that can have some flexibility and grace.

How to Live a More Balanced Life

There are only 24 hours in a day, how can you achieve balance? This question sometimes seems like the impossible. How can you actually create balance in 24 hours? Especially when work and taking care of family often seem to take much of the day. Rather than thinking about when you should find time to put into yourself, think about how not showing up for yourself impacts your world and the world around you. In my classes, I often refer to “filling up your cup before others because you can’t pour into an empty cup” and this quote continuously serves to be true. You cannot serve others ( your kids, your partners, your friends, your employers, etc.) before filling up your cup. When you continue to run on empty, you are showing up in a way that does everyone a disservice. You cannot put your whole, beautiful, self into your work and everything becomes half-assed. Or worse, you before burned out and resentful of all that you are doing. Why? Because you weren’t designed to be here for others. You were designed to be your own individual and your subconscious mind is trying to live out that truth, but you keep fighting it.

So, how can you actually focus on living a more balanced, equanimous life? Here are a few tips…

1. Tune into Your Mood
   Your mood will guide you on what you need. But, you have to actually turn inward and listen. Some common moods that mean you are experiencing imbalances in your life include irritability, crankiness, sadness, overwhelm, and frustration. Your mood can be an excellent guide on what you need if you’re willing to listen. When feeling these moods, take a moment to step back and ask yourself what you’re feeling, evaluate the potential causes of it, and ask yourself what one (realistic) thing could improve your mood. That often times includes taking a break and doing something to serve your mind or body.
2. Schedule Your Time
   Pencil in time to do something entirely for you. Sometimes this could mean doing something fun and exciting and other times this could be working on one of the areas of wellness and implementing actual health strategies in your life. Taking time for yourself doesn’t always mean you need hours of time to go to yoga, go get a massage, or take a day off to do whatever you want. Though these are ways that you could create balance, it doesn’t always need to be long and extravagant. Scheduling even just 5-10 minutes a day to focus inward can greatly improve your equanimity and balance.
3. Focus on a Weekly Basis, Not a Daily One
   There will be days that you can’t always do something for yourself. Though the ultimate goal is to do something every day entirely for you, this isn’t realistic for every single person. So, instead of focusing and stressing out about getting something in for you every day, focus on scheduling time on a weekly basis. Some days you may have more time than others so you should capitalize on this and pencil in time on a weekly basis rather than focusing on a daily schedule that may not be conducive to your lifestyle.
4. Decide What Self-Care Means to You
   Again, self-care isn’t always going to yoga or having an elaborate spa day. Deciding what self-care really looks and feels like to you is an important part of balance. It’s counter-productive to do “self-care” based on what others love. I used to think that I needed to do my hair and makeup every day as self-care because people said that it helps them be more productive and feel more put together. That is so far from the truth for me. For me, self-care is daily mindful movement and taking time away from the computer to breathe and be. I actually feel more overwhelmed feeling like I need to pull myself together every day. Stop worrying about what social media says about self-care and what it looks like. Self-care is partaking in activities that make you feel alive and free in your skin. Develop a deep-rooted understanding of this so that you don’t feel overwhelmed when it actually comes time to partake in self-care activities.
5. Reflect on the Positive, and Negative
   Positivity is all the rave, right? Sure, a positive mindset can go a long way but just as I discussed in Toxic Positivity in a Wellness World, being optimistic and positive all the time isn’t always going to serve you. Going through hard moments in your life is what helps you grow, reflect, and evolve as a person. We learn the most from the hard moments in life and taking time to reflect on these times will give you more grace and balance in life. Allowing yourself to sit in all of your emotions will reduce the chances of everything building up and imploding on you. Positivity is important, but it’s even more important to sit with your authentic emotions rather than push them to the side.
6. Study and Understand the 8 Dimensions of Wellness & How They Impact Your Life
   Understanding all of the 8 Dimensions of Wellness and the role that each area plays in your life will help you create a more balanced lifestyle. Self-care can look and feel tricky sometimes but when you establish the groundwork, it all becomes more natural and easy. Build the habit now so it becomes part of your routine. Here, you can download my Ranking Wellness Quiz which will help you analyze the 8 dimensions and create an action plan to implement them into your life.

Social media is filled with opinions and BS self-care hacks. There is no hack to self-care and creating balance in your life. It will look and feel different to every single person because we all have varying innate needs and desires. Everyone’s opinions can be tools in a tool belt. Some strategies will be helpful and others won’t be. Sometimes you need that specific tool and sometimes you’ll need others. Instead of trying to force a Phillips head screwdriver into a flat head screw, try to find the balance on your own based on what your mind, body, and soul genuinely need. Focusing on how you feel rather than the expectations of others. At the end of the day, it’s your life, no one else. They can’t tell you what you need to be doing to create the calm. There is no basic “how-to” or “easy hack” that will get you there. Just time, commitment, grace, and intuition.